Plastic, Plastic Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink

I feel as though this blog needs to come equipped with a warning. A warning about disillusioned eco-warriors who spend too much time in hippie shops secretly resenting the people who frequent them. That could be me or any one of you, so consider yourself warned.



Hippie shops are full of bright-eyed, tree-hugging, bike-helmet-slinging, back-pack-yielding, Burt's-Bees-sniffing, lunar-cycle-knowing, used-book hoarding, hairy people who are very, very proud of their ancient canvas totes. Being the idealistic, anti-establishment young liberal arts graduate that I am, such shops tend to be the only way for me to find gainful employment. Therefore, I quite often find myself surrounded by these shiny, happy folks. I dispense the organic food they eat, they say thank you, we discuss the great weather, our favourite Rumi quote, our mutual disdain for gluten and they go on their merry way. It's not a bad life.



That is, until it comes to the vessel in which said organic food will travel. It happens when a good-intentioned shopper walks in who does not fit the above characteristics but still appreciates a good spelt loaf when they see one. They could be more appropriately refered to as "bridge hippies," those who may be transitioning from white marshmellow bread to organic seedy nutty grainy crunchy bread. They are on the fence and boy do they feel the eco-guilt when it comes time to prepare their food for the journey. I don't seem to have a problem when this situation arises due to the ubiquitious over-priced 25L backpack I carry around in case I should need to purchase something that will make my life that much more awesome. If, for some reason, gravity has shifted and the sun is no longer shining and I DON'T have my purple back-pack, I would rather tear the sparkly scarf from my very own neck, (risking body temperature-fluctuations and the chance of not being stylish for a moment), and create a trendy bindle-sack device to carry my goods home than take a plastic bag.

The scene can be retold in the following way, don't be afraid to role-play with your hamster or your roommate.

Customer who just purchased three small items. "Thank you very much."
Hippie-food-dispenser:"Do you need a carry-bag today?"
CWJPTSI: "Well, uh....er...if you have one, I have to walk three blocks to where I parked my Hummer which I will drive 5 blocks to my house and my dog is in the backseat and I need to pick up my kids and it looks like rain."
HFD (handing over slightly used plastic grocery bag, receipt and onion skins from previous owner still intact, teeth clenched because that's the third time she's heard those exacts reasons for perpetuating the plastic bag crisis in that order today) "No, problem, you can always bring it back next time you come."


End of scene.

If you need motivation just think about how you ALWAYS walk no matter what, and question how the fact that you need to walk 6 blocks to get home should change whether or not you need a plastic bag. I get that there are people who have really busy lives but either you brought a bag or you didn't. It's simple. Either you have a heart for polar bears and rainforests and treefrogs or you don't. May they choke on the plastic you so required.




Ok I hope that you are not being offended by reading this blog, that was not the intention, it's all just poking wholesome fun at the contradictions of our eco-obsessed consumer-based society.